The Wisdom of being 40-something

So tomorrow is my birthday....I LOVE MY BIRTHDAY,  it means I've lived another year and get to celebrate that awesome day that I was born.  However, I now have 40-something "eyes", I keep holding everything further away so I can read it, I NEED to take naps now and then, and the whole Pre- Menopause thing really sucks.  HOWEVER AGAIN......I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Being 20-something was fun, I lived down the shore, I partied with by friends, I wasn't tied down and lived and made some incredible mistakes, you know, like dating all the most incredibly wrong for me guys out there.  Then the end of my twenties came and I met my husband, and I'm glad because I was free to be me and did all the things a girl should do before she gets married (although I wish I had gotten to travel a little bit more, but my Cancun vacation was AWESOME, and nothing........NOTHING, beats living down the shore in your twenty something years).

Then came thirty....I had my babies, lost lots of sleep, starting getting grey hairs, still struggled with my past, wasn't able to COMPLETELY FORGIVE MYSELF AND OTHERS FOR THINGS THAT WERE OUT OF MY CONTROL AND SOME THAT WERE COMPLETELY IN MY CONTROL....but that was part of my destiny which leads to this very day, learned that married life is WORK......you start with an empty box and learn that every day it needs to be filled with something to keep that marriage going.....and that doesn't stop... I will talk about that again later.  Changed like a million diapers, and had the priceless gift of giving birth 3 times to three little miracles.  We never planned our pregnancies, I just figured God would give me what was meant to be.  And nothing beats holding a newborn baby in your arms and just watching them sleep.  Although, the postpartum that came with that wasn't so wonderful and neither was I.  Then I came into being almost 40 and things started to click, not right away, but a little at a time and then BOOM......

HELLO 40.  I had the best 40th birthday ever!  And then a year later that pre-menopause, anxiety, depression thing set in, NOT AWESOME AT ALL..........nothing that some therapy, God and some much needed medication couldn't help......LONG STORY SHORT.......I'm here, I'm alive, I've forgiven and been forgiven, I have learned to accept my past as a gift of wisdom and priceless knowledge.  I've learned to distance myself from unnecessary DRAMA, FROM NEGATIVITY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, SURROUND MYSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.  I no longer feel the need to impress anyone or please others for the sake of being liked.....either you like me and you love me or you don't.  I much rather be liked, we all do, but not everyone will and THAT'S OKAY!   I no longer care what others (who don't matter) think of me, because it's none of my business.....MY BUSINESS IS THIS:  To be a good Mother, a good Wife,  a Good Daughter, A good Sister, A good Aunt, A family member and a Good Friend.
I love my husband with all my heart, he truly is the best friend I have ever had....we fight hard, but we love just as hard.  I love my CHILDREN and would give my life for them, they are the reason I was born. I was born to give life.  I love my parents (ALL OF THEM....THAT'S A LONG STORY, BUT THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW MY PAST, KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT).  I no longer stand in judgement of anything they did or didn't do....parenting doesn't come with a self-help book, though I wish it did for me anyhow.

I love my whole family, blood and non-blood...I love my friends, I have the best friends in the world.  I love my faith...I love God for giving me this life, for opening my heart and my mind.  I love the wisdom that comes with being 40-something...if only I could have a talk with that silly 20-something self of mine, WOW, that would be some conversation.  I probably wouldn't get anywhere with that, cause that 20 something has to figure it out on her own anyway.

So here I am, my last day of being 41 and I welcome the number 42, it just means that I have lived another year to see milestones, to grow more, to learn more and to most importantly love more.  So cheers to all of us 40 somethings....life is awesome (even when it's not awesome, it's awesome).....don't dread your birthdays, embrace them, because you never know how many more you have coming.

Oh and that Marriage box thing I talked about earlier......when you see it running low, put something in it, fix it if it's broken....fix it before it's beyond repair.  Love each other for better or worse, keep the magic  (hard with kids), but try really hard, learn not to be taken advantage of and to to take advantage of. AND MARRIAGE RULE #1, IF ALL IS GOING GOOD, PLEASE DON'T FIX IT IF NOT'S BROKEN.

Cheers to me, my life, the loves of my life and to God who makes all things possible!

Making Your Faith Bigger Than Your Worries

So, for the last few weeks, I have been a little worried about not finding employment for the summer.  I don't know how, but way down deep, I knew it would work out.  And it did.  It's funny how things like this happen when you make your faith bigger than your worries.  The older I get and the more in tune I become with that "little voice in my head", the more I know and trust that the big picture has already been written, we're just actors in the play of life and God is the Director.

The more I listen, the more I surround myself in positive settings, with people who "REALLY" know and understand me, the more control I have over the energy I allow into my life....into my home.  No life is perfect, no marriage, no parenting is perfect....there is no perfection, just trying the best with what you have.

What's quite interesting, is that the more positive energy you put out there, the more the "unhappy" people will try to take jabs at you and knock you down.  In a way, I believe, that's the devil knocking on your door.  Sorry, you can politely poke fun at me and I may even allow you to bring your passive/aggressive nature into my life....it's only because I pity those type of people.

It's amazing to me to see how many people have so much surrounding them.....a beautiful home, a fairly large paycheck, beautiful material things all around them but still are so miserable. None of that will make you happy without a spirit, grace and faith guiding you.

Life isn't easy, it's not supposed to be.  But what can make it more tolerable is your attitude towards things.  Sure, every now and then, you're gonna go through a rotten time, have a bad day, etc, we're all human.  But when you find something to complain about every day or worse yet, find the faults in others before taking a look at your inner most being, well, that's just pretty sad and really selfish.

If other could just live, and let live, stop poking your noses into every one else's business but your own, what an easier, drama free life, this could be.

So when you think you are having a bad day, think about someone fighting cancer, grieving the loss of a loved one, being bullied because of the color of their skin, some contemplating suicide because they are gay and not accepted by their families......think again and make your Faith bigger than your worries.

In the words of Bill and Ted....."Be Excellent to Each Other"